25th of April 2012 – Miscarried

I havent been on this Blog for some months, well actually quite alot of months.

Our routine 12 week scan was booked for 25th of April. The night before the scan i had the most vivid dream, that i went to my scan to only be told that actually there was no baby and i never was pregnant, i woke up in a horrible sweat and had a really difficult night trying to get to sleep, after the dream i had as it felt so feel!, i didnt take a whole great deal into it as being pregnant you get a LOT of very vivid dreams.

Anyways the Day of the scan came, it was here!!! after 12 long weeks i was finally going to see our baby, jumping about all over the screen, wondering if my dates were correct or not. I drank the amount of water you need to 1 hour beforehand so that we can get a good clear picture of baby.

We arrived at the hospital, and handed over my pregnancy notes to the lady at the desk… we sat down for about 5 minutes and then the butterflies hit me!!! i felt like i was going to be sick, i just couldnt wait any longer to just get in there and see our baby.

So i laid down on the bed, the sonographer squeezed warm jelly over my belly and placed the scanner over it, i looked nervously at the screen and couldnt see anything but black shadows… At that moment i just knew something was wrong!!! the sonographer then asked me: “have you had any bleeding?” I instantly replied with: “no i havent had any at all”… She then said i would like to do a a internal scan to get abit better of a look, please go to the toilet and empty your bladder. So i did as i was told.

I got back, and the internal scan revealed that i had suffered a Blighted Ovum!! all that could be seen was just a collapsed gestational Sac with a placenta contained. The devestation hit me like a brick wall!!! It was just the most horrible thing in the world. The sac only Measured 7weeks and 5 days it was 27mm in size.

We got ushered out the back door of the scanning department up to the 2nd floor to the maternity asessment unit for women like me who have had complications… The nurse told me that i had indeed been pregnant, but the cells that divide into making a baby hadnt actually done it propperally for whatever reason which noone will ever know, therefore a baby never ever formed. But the cells that split and make the sac and placenta actually grew and because it grew my body was tricked into thinking there was a baby and so hence why i never bled, hence the positive pregnancy tests and pregnancy symptoms.

But there was MORE!!!… the sonographer had stated on my scazn report that my sac/placenta showed Molar pregnancy characteristics… This if left untreated can turn cancerous!. So i needed my blood taking there and then to check to see how high my HCG actually was. In molar Pregnancies HCG tends be very very high, due to the amount that that mole grows.

We got Home and i just broke down, i couldnt believe it!, i felt sooo empty handed, i went there with my pregnancy notes and hoping to come away with a scan photo or two… i came home with nothing, no notes, no pictures nothing. Now my fate on how i was going to deal with this blighted ovum was in the hands of the doctors.

The Morning 26th of April, i got a phonecall to tell me that my HCG was in the range of 60,000’s it was High, but not HIGH as there would see in a typical molar pregnancy… but with the fact of it being high and the fact that my consultant wasnt happy with the signs on the scan aswell as my hcg being that high, also taking into account, that i was 12weeks and 5 days now and the sac had stopped growing some 4 weeks previously with no signs of my body doing it naturally. I was booked in for a D&C at my local hospital for the next day.

27th of April, today was the day of the operation, the last few days have passed me by in a wave of bluriness. I cant bebothered for anything anymore, today just symbolised just something i really couldnt bebothered to do, i wanted it over and done with so i could just get back home, curl up on the sofa and just bawl my eyes out AGAIN. We arrived at the hospital for 7am as told too. There showed me to a bed, which was on a womans surgical ward opposite the nurses station, there was 6 beds in total and all were filled, some ladies old, some young. I seen a nurse who booked me in, gave me a wrist band. Then another nurse who put in a canula into the back of my hand for drips etc. I seen anethetist, then the surgeon, another nurse and then someone from the maternity ward to come and i guess give me some emotional support etc (she was nice)…

I was wheeled down to theatre about 10am, and didnt come back till around 12pm… i felt fine after surgery, i had no pain at all, i had no bleeding infact. I raised my concern on the lack of pain and no blood. I was told that i bled quite abit during surgery and therefore probally wouldnt have a lot.

My heart rate etc was low so i was kept in till around 6pm then i was allowed to come home.

The Weeks passed in a Blur, when it came to around back end of may, i still had a positive test i felt concerned and so i went to the doctors, i didnt know what was going on, was something retained??? anyways i got no joy!… I went back again as i didnt feel very well, my doctor assumed i may of had an infection from the surgery. so i had a course of anitbiotics for 7 days to try and help… 3rd of June, i noticed a Negative Pregnancy test and felt relieved that finally i was getting back to normal!!! But come 5th of June i felt worst!!! and my positive test had returned, so she decided to book me in for a Blood HCG test to see how much HCG i had in my Body and also booked me in for a scan.

I got a date for my bloods on the 13th of June, also a letter came from the hospital on the same day at a different time.

I kept testing, and noticed my line seemed to get a tiny bit darker, i really didnt think much of it till the day of my 26th Birthday. 7th of June, i tested just like always and the Line was WAY stronger!!! i showed everyone online and all of them were in an agreement it was certainly darker/stronger. So i ran out to morrisons and grabbed a double packet of Clearblue Digital Tests which confirmed for me “Pregannt 1-2” i couldnt Believe it!!! i was pregnant again 6 weeks after my last miscarriage and without a Period!.

13th of June arrived and so i got my blood drawn and headed to my scan. There couldnt see anything pregnancy related at the time, but told me at about 4 weeks pregnant there wouldnt see much if anything!. so i felt pleased with that. I did have to have another internal done. So when i got up and wiped down there i noticed pink bleeding and i thought oh no and then i thought oh maybes it was the internal scan, its maybes irritated things.

The bleeding continued all night and on the 14th of June i passed a huge Blood clot. Felt convinced i miscarried! i was bleeding quite heavy, all though i had no more clots. I kept testing and i noticed the tests were getting darker and progressing. 15th of June i went to my doctor again to due a follow up blood test but she refused and said to come back in 2 weeks time!!! that wasnt good enough. So Monday 18th of June i went to the hospital, i needed a blood test! i needed to know what was going on. My HCG for the 13th of June was 57, the 18th of june was 487!!! i was sooo happy and thrilled.

I got seen at the gynecologists outpatients and got my Blood checked again… 20th of june it was only 620 and so there was question of it being a ectopic pregnancy!… 22nd of June it was 1051. The consultant was happy with that and so i was booked in for a scan on the 25th of June.

Scan day came and felt relieved that everything will be ok, HCG was rising etc. But the scan showed not everything was right. I had a gestational sac in my uterus with a yolk sac contained but there couldnt see a baby. The bad news was my uterus was full of blood surrounding the empty Gestational sac. Afterwards i was told, that its not looking good, i was also told that i will bleed! but whether or not ill miscarry the consultant didnt know. So again i was home with no more answers and just told to wait it out and to go back in 2 weeks time for a follow up scan.

28th of June i started bleeding again, it suddenly stopped again

5th of July i started bleeding again but it was more Brownish bleeding and i was told this is old blood and because of the small amount its nothing much to worry about.

9th of July, bleeding started Heavy!!! lots of it, lots of clots etc…

11th of July i went back for my check up scan, it wasnt good news, i was miscarrying and some of it was still left to come out, doctor did initially think for me to take the tablets to help it come fully out, but i would have to spend a day in hospital again!!!… i didnt fancy that and so i did it naturally. I bled for a week and passed HUGE clots, come to the 16th of July i was now spotting and thought finally its stopped and its over and done with.

Sadly that wasnt the case 22nd of July, bleeding returned with a Vengeance!!! i couldnt get off the toilet!, i was filling pads in matter of seconds, passing clots the size of golf balls, one was the size of my hand!

26th of July i had my further up scan to make sure that i had passed everything. Scan showed i had did it on my own, uterus was clear and my lining was 4mm. But there couldnt understand why i was bleeding sooo much, i had a internal done for that scan and it lasted a matter of minutes, when i got up off the bed the paper towel was covered in bright red blood!… So the sonographer asked for a Urine sample from me to test to see if i still got a positive. She came back and was shocked! she said its deffo positive and its really dark! it shouldnt be.

Anyways got blood took to check just how much HCG i had still left in my body. That was taken at 9am come 3pm there had my results back and it was 300!!! so it had came down, but it shouldnt of been that high. There gave me a pelvic examination and found at the neck of my cervix some pregnancy tissue and so there were certain this was the missing piece to the jigsaw, there told me to take a pregnancy test in a weeks time and to see if its negative.

4th of August i still had a Positive, but it soon died down and went.

10th of August we went on a much and longed for Holiday!!! My partner lee could only get a few days off from work and so we only went for a few days… When i got home i started testing, i was pretty sure i ovulated on the 8th of August and was eager to know if we had been lucky again to catch again without a period. All tests were negative and i started to doubt that we hadnt done it. Trying my best not to dwell on it, but i couldnt. Come the 12th of August i noticed some implatation cramps, the next day i noticed a few pregnancy symptoms and over the next couple of days i knew i was pregnant!!! i had all the symptoms ive had previously.

16th of August i tested and got a very very faint pink line, but i wasnt sure! This was my last pregnancy test and i was waiting for some more to arrive.

18th of August, now i was at the point to pull my hair out, i needed tests and i needed them NOW. I stalked for the postwoman to come and here she was outside the house. So i darted to the door, not before my partner got there and decided to toy with me!, i needed those tests!! so i whipped them from him. Dipped one into my first morning urine that i had saved 2 hours previously and a lovely clear pink line showed!!!, i didnt believe it so i dipped another again another line!!!.. was godsmacked. I went to the toilet again, as usually my second morning urine is better and gives stronger lines and so i dipped another!, i still didnt believe it and the test was even darker!, i couldnt believe!

So here i am 4 Weeks Pregnant with baby Number 3 after having 2 miscarriages Back to Back. So far everything seems to be going ok, tests are progressing nicely, i have a few symptoms and no bleeding.

Leanne x

 

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